Sunday, February 05, 2006

thoughts i have had

Okay, I DID it!! I'm so proud of me. I read the last 2/3 of a book that I wasn't completely into [see note] in one sitting, in plenty of time for book club. Then I bought sherry and brought it to book club, where we all did not enjoy the sherry. The book was actually pretty good, though it didn't deliver till the end. Then, after it delivered, it really sucked for the very last 15 pages. The book club's reaction to the last pages was basically "What the ****???"

[note] I wouldn't brag if I'd read a Harry Potter book, even though it's larger, in one sitting. Everyone does that. This was a book about university scholars and involved the use of Wikipedia and a dictionary at least once every two pages. But there were laugh out loud funny parts, and a part that made me go "aahaaaahhh!!!!" and basically, made my housemates think I was crazy, which they did anyway, so whatever.

Other than the reading, and the book club, I've done little today. It was a gorgeous day, too. I talked to my grandparents, who still do not have access to this site, so I think I'm going to go ahead and put it in "wide release" soon [see note 2]. I think it's ready for that. I also bought 6 tennis balls, because I had a tennis date after book club, but then when we didn't get in touch with each other (I left a message, but then put him on hold when he called back), it didn't work out, so maybe next time. And in the meantime, whilst purchasing tennis balls, I discovered a great sale on Speedos. I tried on a size 32, which I thought I remembered being my size, and it just fit. I mean, it was a struggle, but for some reason I was thinking of getting it, then I was like "woah woah woah--you're not competing in this thing. This is for swimming laps at your neighborhood park. 34 will be perfect." But I had no more time. The sherry was in the heating car, going bad (but how can you tell??).

[note 2] I wonder if my getting a new web page is like the reasons frontmen break up their band. I had this thought while listening to the new Gorillaz song on the radio (twice in one night). Creative stifling born of familiarity and repetition. I think it's time Damon Albarn reshuffled the deck.

One reason I didn't pursue the tennis game to the fullest extent of my abilities is I had this idea: "Why not rent a disc of Veronica Mars, and work on Mom's picture?" So, that's what I've done for the last 4 or so hours. A minute ago, I threw Guiness into the mix, but then ran out of Veronica Mars. I made a panicked call to the video store to see if they had the next disc, but then relaxed remembering I had Xenas yet to watch. I knew I shouldn't get into VM until long after the entire cast visited Austin. Now I am filled with regret for not entering its fandom soon enough to have seen them in person.

I am f-f-f-freezing!!

I had these thoughts, moments ago, when looking for the Netflixed Xenas:
  • Where did I put those Netflixes?
  • Oh, yes, I believe I put them in this relatively new Stack Of Stuff.
  • Why, what's this?
  • A cake server?
  • In My room?
  • Why? Who?
  • Oh, yeah! I got it for my birthday!
  • I have yet to have the opportunity to serve cake.
  • I must serve cake.
  • I must bake a cake.
  • Batter.
  • Sweet, sweet batter.
  • I wish I had another Guinness.
  • I will have another handful of Nestle morsels instead.

I love weekends! So far, this weekend is perfect. It started with a nice dream, I woke to breakfast being made for me, I got lots of reading in, got free wine and cheese (and sherry), did not follow through with plans (what do they say? There is no great joy in not having things to do, there is joy in having many things to do and not doing them. So that's one of the enjoyed joys of the weekend). Got to be artisitic and couch-potato SIMULTANEOUSLY, which is like multitasking. Tomorrow I'm going to see a play and Xander has a playdate, which is funny we have plans with a similar name but they are different. And I'll probably get a Speedo (you know, or a TYR or whatever. I'm using Speedo like "Kleenex" here).

My therapist said I play things down. Like, I said I had a boring weekend last week, but really, I watched a beautiful sunset from the hills of West Austin, had dinner with a friend, and later visited the same friend in a hospital after she'd had a heart attack scare, in addition to working 7 weekend hours. This weekend has a lot more to offer, and it's not even 1am Saturday yet. I will make sure to tell my therapist I had a good weekend.

I've been having weird desires to just go downtown by myself and take pictures of people. But it's not just that, I have this weird image of me finding a girl there and we become best friends for the night. So, maybe some time, if I truly divine that it's the right time, I will follow this urge because That Girl will be there, for me to meet.

Here is Mom's picture so far. I'm going to have a series of photos showing the process. It's going to look like that article I read in Discover about how autistics draw pictures, because I do it randomly, depending on which colors I want to do next. So, I'll do one segment of the wing, then do one of the hills in the background, then finish the sun, then to the tongue, then, who knows. Observe the process if you dare, but don't expect much at this point. I heard recently the idea that creativity doesn't have to involve originality, and that's so freeing. How annoying is it when you find out a great thought you've had has already been had? It's not fair that your thought is less valuable just because of the year you were born. You feel you would have had that thought no matter what, and are bitter at some philosopher for spending their freaking lives thinking up these thoughts and then patenting or whatever. And here you had that thouht just walking down the street and your name will not live on. But it's okay, because YOU still know you had the thought. And in your own lifetime, what YOU know is all that really matters.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That was a very satisfying update. And cheered me up considerably as I was up half the night worrying about where your brother was. And with good reason, as it turns out. All is ok but he is seriously grounded for two weeks (including no car). I'll talk to you later. Hm. I guess this is one way of making sure I talk to you today. Love you to pieces. And I love the way my picture is coming along. Keep with the updated progress.