Thursday, February 16, 2006

Relax, that's it

from under the ice i saw you in warm clothes

so not a good day. mm.

my cat made friends with the neighborhood bully, Jake, and they went off while i attempted to appease my system with sugar. Why is it that every time I resolve to eat healthy and do right and all that, my body reacts so negatively? Is it the sugar withdrawl? I don't think so. I think it's like I'm allergic to vitamins. I'm meant to be anemic and malnourished. Naturally.

I've started listening to this Tranquil Tranquilities (of Relaxing Calmness) or something similar pretty regularly to go to sleep. And it works pretty well because as I discovered last night, I've never heard the last 15 minutes of it--I'm usually asleep by then. At the beginning of the recording, there are a few grammatical missteps and just some awkward wording that irritates me a little bit, but I've gotten over it. But last night, I was having so much trouble sleeping (work-related anxieties? That and other things), I listened to the whole thing, and there were so many abuses of the English language, it was actively waking me up. Plus, it was cheesy, like "And then you go from your beautiful beach to the beautiful foilage [sic; this is a common mispronounciation; are there more dyslexics than we realize?] and you find a beautiful, relaxing hammock," and I couldn't stop thinking about the Deep Thought "Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."

Oh, Deep Thoughts! They are great. They are fun to rediscover every so often. Several of them remind me of something TinyBehemoth might have said one night while we were downtown and had both had 1-2 beers, and everything was funnier. Like her horror that Lyndon Baines Johnson allowed people to call him LBJ because "el BJ!!" Some that were TBish:

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.
Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed?
If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.

  • Ice, The Microphones


TB said...

Oh man, you think I could have said those deep thoughts? Even that one about the baby trap?!! That is the best compliment I have ever received!!!

Carrie said...

Yes, you definitely could have said those. They're just kind of in line with the part of your sense of humor that amuses me most. The baby one is my favorite, too. Especially with that sincere little question mark on the second sentance.