the girl with the cacchinatory laugh, the girl with the arab strap:

I found out that babies can hiccup. WHEN THEY ARE INSIDE OF YOU! (if you are a girl) (if you are a boy and a baby is inside of you, the baby is probably dead, and you are probably psycho). This gives me the creeps. Is it not supposed to? Am I supposed to be maternal and "aaawwww" about fetus having the hiccups? Because I so am not.

I like curling. Because I like people trying to explain it. Because after a lot of thought and effort, they always come up, almost word for word, with this description: "Well, they slide this... thing.... and then.... they sweep sweep sweep sweep sweep real hard. Then, I don't know."

It's offical: it takes 45 minutes to walk to work. 45 minutes and significant amounts of skin from my heel if I don't wear good socks. Yes, the bike tire was flat.

Is it wrong to find the laugh of every individual in a department annoying? I always feel bad finding people's laughs annoying, but you know? SOMETIMES THEY ARE ANNOYING, AND THEY SHOULD WORK ON HAVING FUN IN A WAY MORE CONVENIENT TO ME!

this is to push the clothes post away

I got a peanut butter cookie today. Actually, I was going to get ice cream, but I was standing in line (it was the longest line in the world, plus is was composed almost solely of clearly contagious sick children), when I remembered I ate an entire pint of ice cream last night. Rather than decide I'd had enough sugar for a few days, I only decided I'd had enough ice cream, and went over to the cookie counter, which had a shorter line. But the cookie must have fallen out of its bag, and much much later, when I remembered I'd gotten it, I went out to the car to discover it was on the floor of the car. Such was my pain that, like Darth Vader, I fell to my knees and cried "noooooo!!!" into the night. It's not like I know my neighbors anyway.

I got 5 DVDs. They are: the Wizard of Oz box set, The Saint, Koyaanisqatsi, Powaqqatsi, The Office: Second Series.

Have you ever accidently, 5 times in a row, implied you were gay to someone you really didn't want to imply that to?

Today was drizzly, but near my house there was a wonderful petrichor, and I momentarily felt like I wasn't in this world anymore. It's such a soft scent. It's almost something I have to sense with something besides my nose, but it was there. (this is the first update in keeping with my new resolution to use a really good word once per update.)

And lastly, I saw an absolutely GREAT play last night! It is The Rivals, and it was the opening of the Austin Shakespeare Festival. I haven't laughed that hard at a play possibly in my whole life. I'm going to see it again next week, along with Richard III, which I have never seen or read.

conversation starter

Have I mentioned that I got two boxes of conversation hearts (from the good people at my company's payroll)? And that I organized them on my desk:

Alphabetically:

Is there a new Monk on tonight?

this is the clothes post

This morning on the TV-screen, there was a special about local firemen who had become vegetarians together. They were cooking each other some vegetarian pizza down at the station. NOW I SHARE AMERICA'S LOVE OF FIREMEN! They were so dear. I wanted to cook them foods and knit them sweaters.

Another overworked fascination of the public, previously obscure to me, is clothes. I just realized that even though last month's spending spree was out-of-character because it involved a lot of new clothes purchases, I have always liked clothes. I like clothes in a certain way: I instinctively know what I like; I have my very own fashion season that lives only inside my own head; I often think of clothes I'm wearing as a costume of some kind, even if no one else would be able to tell what it represented, or even that it was different; I like to have lots of clothes around, to have a good selection when creating the aformentioned costume, so I rarely throw things out, which is why I have shirts from 8th grade still in the repertoire. And sometimes I don't think about clothes at all, and look just awful (but unintentionally, as opposed to when I'm wearing certain weird clothes for a reason and look awful, though I guess my *intention* is almost never to look awful).

Stuck in the brain: Bill Withers, Use Me

more than two things

Well, while I thought I had a nice smoky aroma from the fire last weekend, it turned out I smelled like bacon. And so does my raincoat. Bacon!

At the library, there was a graphic novel version of "Remembrance of Things Past." And in the spirit of Ginny, who could not pass up the graphic novel of "Tale of the Body Thief" in York ("What mementos do you have of York?" "Oh, you know, a graphic novel of a book about vampires by an American."), I checked it out from the library. So far, it's just like the book. Except the first five pages seem to cover the entirety of the portion of the real thing I managed to read.

My car broke down at lunch. Luckily my boss is the kind of boss who will not only pick me up at the mechanic's, but will also drop me off at my house after work. Here's hoping my bike tire isn't flat tomorrow morning. Because I don't have a pump. Or do I?

No, I don't.

There's a post about how I like clothes that's waiting to be updated, but I don't have it here with me right now. But as a probably meaningless followup to the as-of-now non-existant post, I got tickets today to go to the Alamo Drafthouse Oscar party! [this is what I call you about, today, G, but we can talk later. I was very glad to have J cornered for once.] Now comes the delightful challenge of convincing myself to wear a costume, and then the further challenge of coming up with something fabulous to wear. There will be a group of us. I hope I'm not the only one who gets dressed up.

I want to get dressed up for this Sunday's concert, too.

Packages: I received two in two days this week. And they weren't things I bought! They were unexpected gifts from friends. One was a DVR'd excerpt from the Puppy Bowl II (on Animal Planet, SuperBowl Sunday), from a friend whose fiancee watched both the Puppy Bowl and the real SuperBowl, both to my friend's extreme bewilderment. There were also some clips from the kitty halftime show. The other package was addressed to Dragon, and was from Sea-Cow (John/mfn), and included his and Summer's new CD! I listened to it at work and was CALMed.

calm

put my worries on a shelf

don't think about nothin'

try not to see myself

I listened to Nick Drake and Radiohead all the way to and back from San Antonio. Self-indulgent Saturday? Like no other. Well, I probably could have chosen a better movie to see at the theater than The Pink Panther. But it was suggested, and I didn't even know what else was playing to counter the offer, so Pink Panther it was. What a weird trip. That was basically all I did because when I tried to go back downtown to walk around and take pictures (in the ice-cold night), I got hijacked by the interstate system, and was headed back towards Austin before I knew it. It turned out to be okay because I got back to Austin and went to a party, which had a fire pit. And there's nothing I like more than hovering around an outdoor fire in freezing temperatures. Seriously. Everyone told funny stories, and today I smell like smoke. There was also a strange party trick that involved shaking your face as fast as you could and they take a digital picture of you, and they come out funny. They call it "flapface." As in "Hey, everyone, let's do flapface!" It was something they did at most parties, apparently.

Despite all that, I think this weekend will have to be defined by the nightmare of this morning. I mean, literally, a really bad dream. There are only a handful of dreams I've woken up crying from.

But my poor housemate, who had just finished paying off his truck, totalled it this morning skidding on some ice. Sob, sob, I had a bad dream. A woman I worked with this afternoon for a few hours has had her mother-in-law's Alzheimer's finally get out of control, and the mom is now living with them, and saying mean and hateful things to them. My coworker is the nicest woman, and even though she'd say sad things with a kind of apologetic smile, she seemed so tired and on the verge of tears, my heart broke for her whenever I looked up from work. Poor me, I had time on Friday to watch 13 episodes of Veronica Mars and read a book on economics.

The weather forecast on my page as I write this says "Mist/ 34 degrees/ CALM." I like the 'calm' in all caps. Imperative.

• Nick Drake

Relax, that's it

from under the ice i saw you in warm clothes

so not a good day. mm.

my cat made friends with the neighborhood bully, Jake, and they went off while i attempted to appease my system with sugar. Why is it that every time I resolve to eat healthy and do right and all that, my body reacts so negatively? Is it the sugar withdrawl? I don't think so. I think it's like I'm allergic to vitamins. I'm meant to be anemic and malnourished. Naturally.

I've started listening to this Tranquil Tranquilities (of Relaxing Calmness) or something similar pretty regularly to go to sleep. And it works pretty well because as I discovered last night, I've never heard the last 15 minutes of it--I'm usually asleep by then. At the beginning of the recording, there are a few grammatical missteps and just some awkward wording that irritates me a little bit, but I've gotten over it. But last night, I was having so much trouble sleeping (work-related anxieties? That and other things), I listened to the whole thing, and there were so many abuses of the English language, it was actively waking me up. Plus, it was cheesy, like "And then you go from your beautiful beach to the beautiful foilage [sic; this is a common mispronounciation; are there more dyslexics than we realize?] and you find a beautiful, relaxing hammock," and I couldn't stop thinking about the Deep Thought "Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."

Oh, Deep Thoughts! They are great. They are fun to rediscover every so often. Several of them remind me of something TinyBehemoth might have said one night while we were downtown and had both had 1-2 beers, and everything was funnier. Like her horror that Lyndon Baines Johnson allowed people to call him LBJ because "el BJ!!" Some that were TBish:

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.
Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed?
If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.

• Ice, The Microphones

mystery radio

Explaining that the sky holds the wind

The sun rushes in

And a child with a shotgun can shoot down

Honeybees that sting

But this boy could use a little sting.

Two things I keep forgetting to update, so I'll just do them now, though completely unrelated.

1--at book club last weekend, the hosts had just moved into a new apartment. It was a neat apartment. But the best part was that it was old, and had one of those intercom-speakers built into the wall. They got one radio station on it, but they didn't know who controlled it or anything. They would just turn on channel 4 (channels 1-3 were just static) and be surprised by whatever was playing. So we listened to it all during book club, and it was the strangest mix ever. We wondered if it was just some dude in apartment 104, say, DJ'ing 24/7 for the whole complex. There were never commercials.

2--My brother stayed with two branches of one family while he was here in Austin. The mainstay was Jack and Betsy, and the secondary home was Jenny, Jack first wife. Willie got something in the mail from Betsy, and when Dad asked what it was, Willie said it was something from his "second mom." Dad said "Betsy?" and Willie said "Yeah" then said something about his "third mom." Dad was confused for a minute, then:
Dad: Oh, you mean Sis?
Willie: Uh, no? I mean Jenny---Sis? Would be my sister?

• "By the Skin of My Country Yellow Teeth", Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah

walking in the breakdown lane

Behind me thunder mounts as trucks of cattle
roar over, faces pressed to slats for air.
They go on, they go on without me.
They pound, pound and bawl,
until the road closes over them farther on.

My computer has a very primitive and loud ventilation system. But Xander has discovered it, and whenever I'm using the computer, he's sitting right next to me pressing his nose to the vent that blows the hot air. He gets this weird look of extreme enjoyment on his face, and he lets his tongue hang out. It's kind of hilarious. I tried doing it, too, just to see what all the fuss was about. But I think the answer is he lives the empty life of an indoor cat. But I pretty much do, too, so don't be surprised if when you come, Ginny, and we're thinking of things to do, I excitedly say "wanna press our noses to the air vent of my laptop?"

Okay, this weekend's Veronica Mars withdrawl has been helped by finding another addiction, which is a song called "By the Skin of my Yellow Country Teeth." I liked it just ok on the first two listenings. But each time I listen to it, it gains a little more momentum. It's snowballing, I guess you would say. Soon some kind of critical mass will be reached, but what will happen at that point I wonder? What I really need to do is go get the Belle and Sebastian CD, if I want a new obsession that lasts longer than 5 minutes, 45 seconds per revolution.

I think Housemate V is building something in the back yard (what's he building in there?). I haven't asked. Housemate N is in Arkansas. It's just me and Housemate X in here, really.

Yesterday, due to my sleeping till 4pm, I missed a gymnastics tournament I'd been thinking of going to. There will be others, I suppose.

Now the rest of my fun weekend will be filled with work, both offices. Mom suggested I play tennis. No, I suggested I play tennis and Mom seconded it. It is almost 3pm, and nothing has been down about either work or tennis. Except I do have 6 brand new tennis balls (not pictured in last update, as green sandals were similarly not pictured, I realize), none of which can be nicknamed "Einstein" by my tennis opponent.

• from walking in the breakdown lane, louise erdrich

man walks down the street--it's a street in a strange world.

So, I just watched the rest of Veronica Mars, season 1. So far, I'm not feeling so good about this weekend. TV addiction is like any other addiction, and when you're coming off your high, it feels really awful.

Anyway, speaking of addictions, one thing I did today was take pictures of everything I could find that I bought since the holidays. I have made a slideshow, here. It's horrible! It's shocking! I need to never buy another thing for my whole life! This only shows things I bought for myself. I've also bought other people stuff, and of course bought food and cat litter things like that, which is not shown. I was taking the pictures to try to teach myself a lesson, but I got a bizarre satisfaction out of seeing all the things in a group together. This is a problem. I'm cutting up my credit card tomorrow. I guess that means I'll physically have to go into a bank to get money to buy things, but so be it. Sooo, anyway, plans to buy a condo are put into the distant future.

Tonight, as I ventured outside of my house, I felt so completely alienated in the city at large. I went to warm familiar places, like an ice cream shop, and a video store, and a coffee shop, but I saw no one I knew. I had a nice conversation at the video store with the people because they were playing "Watcher in the Woods," which you may know is one of my favorite movies (it changed and touched us all!). There are things I like about Austin, but is it worth it to stay in a city just because of the great hours of its video stores? I feel I might as well move to Canberra or something. At least then I could say "I live in Canberra." Saying "I live in Texas" has lost luster. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore.