we were lucky

Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

(click the video below to have the soundtrack to this entry while you read)



We were lucky we got to say goodbye. We were lucky we got to tell him the things we always wanted to. I am lucky I wrote him that letter, and copied him that poem. We were lucky his students wrote him testimonials in time for him to read them. We were lucky he knew we loved him and he was loved by others. We were lucky we knew he loved us. We were lucky he didn't deteriorate over years and years, but rather faded away over a few weeks and then days. We were lucky he died gently, at home, with his family near him. We were lucky it happened Thanksgiving week because we were already together. We were lucky we were together because it was easier to reabsorb the love into the family network we already have.

It doesn't mean we won't miss him for every holiday and every visit to my grandmother's for the rest of our lives.

• Sun Kil Moon, Ocean Breathes Salty