Me: I like asparagus!
Dad: I liked asparagus, too, when I was a little girl.
Dad: Yep, I ate asparagus all the time, and it turned me into a little boy.
Me: [eyeing asparagus warily] Really?
Dad: [mouth full of asparagus] Uh-huh!
Age 6/7 (Christmas morning)
Me: I made coffee for y'all last night! I made it extra strong like you like.
Mom: How did you make it strong?
Me: I put it through the filter twice.
Dad: How do you know that made it stronger?
Dad: How do you know that didn't filter some of the coffee-ness out of the coffee?
Me: [feelings of failure]
Me: Move out of the way. I'm going to throw up. I'm really nauseous.
Dad: No. You're nauseated. Nauseous is something that causes nausea.
Me: I'm so nauseous, please move out of the way!
Dad: You're nauseated. You've been known to be nauseous sometimes.
Me: [glare of death] I'm nauseated, and if you don't move I'm going to throw up on you.
Dad: There. Was that so hard?