recent text conversations from my cell phone:

brother: today is national good looking person day. send this to someone gorgeous. don't send it back to me, i've received f'ing hundreds of them.

me: _____ sux!!
mom: y?
me: dunno. nature?

me: i ate that whole giant potato by myself.
me: i feel like i deserve a reward.
lauren: maybe the potato was its own reward.

brother: who is the country singer paw thinks looks like a thumb?
me: garth brooks.