Sunday, October 26, 2008

i will not obsess, i will not obsess, i will not obsess

true story: i hated high school! this is one reason i don't want to go to my reunion. just the fact that it's happening is stirring up unpleasant feelings in me, and i'm sorry my therapist is out of town this week. for god's sake, it was 10 years ago! i harbor dislike for people that don't exist anymore. no one is who they were in high school. (thank god). but for some reason, i don't want to find this out at the reunion. it has something to do with cognitive dissonance--if i find out the people i dislike so much are really not so bad after all, all that hating i did is in vain.

right now, i also am hating school, but not for the same reason. people at LBJ are great. the work is not so great. i'm ready for an awesome job and awesome pay, but i figure i should finish up here first.


Anonymous said...

My reunion was a couple of weeks ago. I didn't go. But I looked at some pictures online, and I can be uncharitable here, because no one who reads this knows anyone who went to my high school, or probably even where my high school is. Anyway, the photos showed the depressing truth that almost everyone has gained forty pounds and a drinking problem. So I obsessed for a little while, but then I realized that in twenty years, it might be different. Or not and that would be depressing too. So save your reunions for the awesome ones, like with your friends, or russia house, or commune, or whatever was really fun and has more than 5 people you don't blanch at the idea of being around.

Carrie said...

I think our obsessions are different. All my high school friends are incredibly successful. Most of them, I'm just proud to know, but a can probably guess's like every success of theirs is a personal failure of my own. I know this is pathological and incorrect thinking. Hence the desire for my therapist.

I wish they all were slovenly drunks. I still probably wouldn't go.

Anonymous said...

Well, I sort of obsessed because the people I was really interested in, (for schadenfreude or other reasons) weren't even there, in the pictures. So I can't feel superior.

But I hear you on the success thing. I laughed about the therapist line, but do find it particularly applicable. Why must the little adolescent in us win so many otherwise rational arguments?

Anonymous said...

PS I will call you back!

Ellen said...

Geez, I felt exactly the same way about my reunion. I didn't want to go because there are people I still harbor childish resentments against, but also (this is even worse) because I wanted Keegan to be able to go so that I could prove that I have a totally hot husband. On the other hand, I would be embarrassed to go to a reunion with Keegan because I wouldn't want him to see how awkward I am. Why can't we just pretend that high school never happened?

Carrie said...

Having a totally hot husband is like speaking a universal language of success! No one can deny that you don't have a totally hot husband when he's there with you. And whereas some people might consider making lots of money, or looking great after all these years, or having 3 bratty children, or achieving personal contentment as success, EVERYONE will understand that an attractive mate is awesome. So I don't blame you for not wanting to go without that added bonus. I would be jealous of you at a reunion even without a hot husband, for the record :)