Tuesday, June 13, 2006

it's the color blaster!

the culprit

there are few things good that come out of a young boy getting his fingers caught in a blender (besides blood). especially when that boy is 18 years old, and my brother. the good things are most likely limited to the following quotes regarding the incident (paraphrased where necessary):

mom: i was up till 4:30 last night, cleaning the blood from all over the kitchen. i felt like lady macbeth. it doesn't come out for anything! it was like it was atomized. and i will say, for willie's health, his blood does clot fast. some of it must have glommed up before it even hit the ceiling. yes, the ceiling.

me: [after a long argument about whether or not they were talking about a blender or a hand mixer. it turned out they were talking about a stick blender--see above--, also called a hand blender by some] So..... did y'all call it a hand blender BEFORE the incident?

mom: i gave willie back those cigarettes i found. i told him "remember how i told you not to play with that blender? and remember what happened? trust me, you'll regret it a lot more if you don't listen to me about the cigarettes. but you're 18, so i can't just steal your cigarettes anymore."

mom: [when asked if she was hopeful about his ability to generalize, for instance about cigarettes above, to heed parental warnings now] No, I don't really think it'll help, i was just being hopeful. i asked what he learned, and then had to tell him that among other things, he learned sharp things aren't toys. i listed some other sharp things that he shouldn't play with, and when i said chainsaws, he just corrected me: 'chainsaws aren't sharp.'

so it would seem we're going to have to have separate learning incidents with the following: regular blenders, food processors, chainsaws, hand mixers, garbage disposal, trash compactors, coffee grinders, fire, electrical outlets (oh wait we already had that one), sofas (oh wait we had that one too), and scissors.

i sent my brother this, and he was delighted.

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