I wish I had a dollar for every time I memorized the sanskrit names to yoga poses instead of studying probability.

When do you wish for a dollar?

gaf, gaf.

The other day I was eating a cheese stick when the door knocked. I mean, someone knocked on it. Immediately I was suspicious. I commanded the cats to battle stations (apparently someone rewrote the code during the holiday and battle stations are in the closet and under the bed now) and opened the door. To my surprise, it was a special delivery of the graphic novel Laika, about the first mammal in space (I'm assuming microbes were on Sputnik). The delivery guy had an amused look on his face, possibly because my utter bafflement was accentuated by the way I was clutching tightly to my string cheese and juggling the package and the electronic signer with my left hand.

I've only read the first chapter, but just the mere fact of its existence, and that someone I only met once almost two years ago was thoughtful enough to send it to me, makes me smile every time I see the cover.

Also something which makes me smile, laugh out loud in fact, is this 'article' on the 9 most badass bible verses. I usually don't read those things past the jump, but I was really glad I did. I think #4 was my favorite entry, but it's a tough call.

At yoga last night, for any of the postures when I was low to the floor, I was able to see what looked liked flingsalt--large crystals of salt. Since we'd stay in the poses for several seconds, I would have time to look at the salt, and wonder about it. I wondered what it really was. I wondered where it had come from. I wondered if it was always there at the end of the day. I wondered if it would hurt me if it got in my eye. All kinds of things. But by the end of the class, my mind was pretty still, and I just accepted that I was one with whatever that salt was on the floor, and it was totally cool.

But then as I was packing up to go, curiosity got the best of me, and I cautiously reached out my pinky and touched a grain. IT WAS NOT SALT! It was gummy and cold. Suddenly, my mind's stillness was flooded with far more wonderings than before. It was stuck to the bottom of my yoga mat, too, so my wonderings were also filled with alarm.

Anyway, I wish I could end this story by saying "Well, the lab assured me it was just a silicate that commonly forms when yoga mats touch floors" or some such, but I really have no idea what it was. My yoga mat is taking a bath right now. I had been meaning to wash it anyway so it smelled less chemical, and more yogic. I'm going to spray it down with lavender honey milk, and its bath right now is the leftovers from my own mineral spirits one. But despite no clear explanation, at least things didn't end like a Star Trek episode (i.e. the entire crew of my ship didn't succumb to an alien disease that causes irratic and funny behavior).

self-pity: destroyer of class presentations

Well, I have this big presentation tomorrow, plus I'm trying to leave for New Orleans right after class (which involves some cat preparation, packing, loading up with audiobooks). So, what am I doing? Feeling all sorry for myself. But then I found a way to make myself feel better. Unfortunately, it's not by throwing myself headlong into all the work I have to do. It's by making myself the Perfect Breakup Mix. I'm still working out the songlist and order, but here's a first draft. You have to know some of the songs for them to make sense in their order, but this is one of the few mixes I've done that has more to do with the lyrics in the songs going together, rather than the general mood of the song. Some of them are chosen primarily for their title, though. Also, it was interesting that at my first instinct, the PJ Harvey, Radiohead, and Beatles songs were naturally clustered. I guess I have my favorites for certain parts of the mourning process. This list is separate from the list called "Breakup Songs -- Too Sad." This is the "up" list. I think this is several dying/breaking up relationships all in one. There are multiple speakers in this tracklist-conversation.

• You're So Great - Blur
• For No One - Beatles
  and in her eyes, you see nothing, no sign of love behind the tears cried for no one; a love that should have lasted years.
• Is That All There Is? - PJ Harvey and John Parish
  Then one day, he went away, and I thought I'd die. But I didn't. And when I didn't, I said to myself "Is that all there is to love?"
• This Mess We're In - PJ Harvey and Thom Yorke
  I don't think we will meet again; and you must leave now, before the sun rises over skyscrapers
• Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
  When routine bites hard and ambitions are low, and the resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow.
• You're Going to Make Me Lonesome When You Go - Madeline Peyroux (Dylan)
  Situations have ended sad, relationships have all been bad. Mine've been like Verlaine and Rimbaud. But there's no way I can compare all those scenes to this affair.
• Seeing Other People - Belle and Sebastian
  (at least that's what we say we are doing)
• We Can Work It Out - Beatles
  Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting
• Dear Boy - Paul McCartney
  I hope you never know how much you missed, dear boy. And even when you fall in love, dear boy, it won't be half as good as this.
• Creep - Radiohead
• Metal Heart - Cat Power
  Metal heart, you're not worth a thing to me.
• How to Fight the Lonliness - Wilco
• Wise Up - Aimee Mann
  You got what you want, now you can hardly stand it. You're sure there's a cure, and you have finally found it.
• Breathe Me - Sia
  I have been here many times before. Hurt myself again, and the worse part is there's no one else to blame.
• Only A Broken Heart - Tom Petty
  I know your weakness, you've seen my dark side; the end of the rainbow is always a long ride.
• Everybody Hurts - REM
• Let Down - Radiohead
  Don't get sentimental. It always ends up drivel...you know where you are with floor collapsing, falling, bouncing back.
• Song For the Dumped - Ben Folds Five
  So you wanted to take a break, slow it down some and have some space; well, fuck you, too.
• We'll Meet Along the Way - Hem
  Go easy now....later on the road is going to break your world in two.
• Fidelity - Regina Spector
  Suppose I never ever met you. Suppose we never fell in love.
• If I Needed Someone - Beatles
  If I had some more time to spend, then I guess I'd be with you, my friend.
• I'm Looking Through You - Beatles
  Why tell me why did you not treat me right? Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight.*
• Red Rubber Ball - The Cyrkle
  Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea. If I never heard your name again, it's all the same to me.
• All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
  Now the darkness only stay the nighttime. In the morning it will fade away. Daylight is good at arriving at the right time. It's not always going to be this grey.**
• True Love Will Find You - Daniel Johnston
  Don't be sad, I know you will. But don't give up until true love will find you in the end.
• Time Has Told Me - Nick Drake
  So I'll leave the ways that are making me be what I really don't want to be. I'll leave the ways that are making me love what I really don't want to love.
• Cast Of Thousands - Darren Hanlon
  We broke up about a year ago--we split amicably, of course. Then I heard about your accident. You fell off a horse. Ha, ha, ha.*** You had a cast of thousands (of signatures). And charts recording fluctuating temperatures. You handed me a pen and pointed just below the knee. It's nice to know there's part of you reserved for me.

*Sometimes I wonder at the gall of the Beatles lyrics. Because you know they had about 5 years of their lives total that a lady might have possibly not treated them 'right' before they went on the road and slept in mattresses made of groupies. But goodness, they did lay claim to all those wonderfully simple love-song pop rhymes.

**This whole album, All Things Must Pass, is wonderfully soothing. I guess some would argue that it's the kirtan meditation influence...

***In the version he did live.

It turns out that my new camera does work, but it will under no circumstances talk to my computer and tell it what it's seen.

Therefore, I went out and bought a $500 phone* with a 2.0 megapixel camera on it. Problem solved. Except for the problem of how will I pay for food for the rest of the semester? I've written out a budget. It seems that my cats' food costs almost as much as mine (not counting coffee shops and the weekend breakfasts at the Omelettry; they don't go with me there)!

*not an iPhone, and I did get a substantial discount for contract renewal.

Anyway, I've been checking my mailbox almost hourly for the phone (it's being shipped). I feel like I'm reliving that Calvin and Hobbes story arc where he checked every day for his mail-order beanie. I'm going to as disappointed as Calvin if when my phone arrives, it doesn't make me fly.





I'm lucky Xander has such a nice personality. I couldn't take living with Hobbes's constant snark and judgement. Xander does have similar appreciation for a good cardboard box, though.

well, i don't see what the big deal about sunday was. all that happened was that i ate a lot of potatoes and did exactly nothing that i was supposed to.