sometimes

Sometimes when you're going down
You're going down no matter what

Have been plagued by a persistent need to NOT document my life lately. Well, there was the massive DH experience email that went out to many of you. But besides that, I am so dissatisfied with my psyche right now, it makes me to want to vomit to even think of writing in my personal journal.

Problematic for keeping a blog.

I am borrowing a saxophone, but I have only successfully made it sound one note. I cleaned my house last night, at long last. I succeeded in putting all my bills, unpaid for months, into a pile, but have not yet succeeded in going online and paying them. I have a $550 therapy bill. Luckily, I have 3 paychecks from 3 different jobs ready to be deposited. I hooked up my central heat because it snowed in Austin (I didn't see it, but so the story goes). I'm almost done with school. I left my cats in New Orleans at Thanksgiving, but I am kind of regretting it--my time at home is painfully lonely, making me resort to Craigslist dates to get me out of the house, but I have minimal standards, so I end up regretting those, too, not to mention I get stood up more than half the time, which shockingly hasn't taken a toll on my self esteem. Yet. I got 2 free cupcakes today, and ate them both (along with the one I paid for). I'm selling a large proportion of my stuff on Craigslist; I need to make room for my January houseguest. I have gotten to round two of a job interview series, as well as to the training portion of an SAT tutoring job. This week, almost every hour of my time is accounted for, much of which will be getting me out of the house. I think I'm going to foster a schnauzer, though, for the 12 days before I go home for Christmas.

There was so much I could have done today, but I just had a ridiculously unproductive day. All I accomplished was getting a refill of Relpax (for the migraine) and getting those cupcakes (for the self-pity). And now, holy crap, it's 2am, and I have work tomorrow. For the week:

Monday: Work, hang with C, see Ziggy Stardust at Alamo Ritz
Tuesday: Work, job interview, go to KOOP to start first day of volunteering, doctor's appointment, 5 hours of tutoring training and/or meeting L for dinner.
Wednesday: Work, lunch "date" (with friend), 5 hours tutoring training and/or candlelit yoga with J1
Thursday: Crafting day with M and J2, Blue Genie Christmas bazaar with E et al.
Friday: Work, yoga+pizza with D, radio show (2 hours)
Saturday: Hang with C and her cat, F's birthday party and/or D&D
Sunday: Should take today to work on final class project, review CDs, work on Christmas presents, but I get the feeling I will take a pajama day.

Oh.

• Immaculate Machine, Blinding Light (from a great album that I can't stop listening to)